Easter had been and gone. The snow of one week earlier had melted away into weird weather history. The sun had been threatening to come through. Most people were thinking about bringing in Spring with a picnic. Oh no, not the London Rollergirls… We had a RIOT!
The LRG had bouted between themselves twice before but for the first time our all star travel team, London Brawling, were due to take on an unknown quantity: The Irn Bruisers representing the Glasgow Roller Girls. So we all ventured back to our old stamping ground of the Tottenham Green Leisure Centre, overcoming every obstacle Transport For London could throw in our way (There was a rumour that Ken Livingstone was even trying to throw stingers under rollergirls’ cars at one point). We had our now traditional 3 hour long “will everything be ready?” panic, which as usual, our unflappable events manager Silky Briefs refused to join in with and simply went about her job, making sure everything was fine. Then, at 4 o’clock it was that time…
The doors opened and the crowd flooded through into the hall. Representatives from Derby Leagues up and down the country were there in force, as were friends and family of both teams, and also people who had seen us in the London Paper and other quality publications (people who don’t even know us come to our bouts! How cool is that?!). The girls were skating round the hall, keeping themselves warmed up and whetting the appetites of those who arrived early. Merchandise from both teams was being perused, and beer was being consumed.
Where the next hour went, who knows, as in no time at all LRG’s Sky Rockit and GRG’s Marla Mayhem were lining up for the first jam of the afternoon. Sky used her experience from two previous bouts to take advantage of Glasgow’s first bout nerves to build an early lead for London Brawling, which was a trend which continued for the next few jams. However, a simple error from London Brawling allowed Glasgow to get a foothold on the game. Jammer Fox Sake had come out of the penalty box right at the end of the jam, but confusion reigned on the LRG bench and a new jammer was not sent to the track within the allotted 30 seconds, meaning that Glasgow had a full 2 minutes to concentrate on offence, and Jaci Dodger got the first 3 points on the board for Glasgow. Things evened out a little after that, but great jams from EL VISious and Belle DeBrawl meant that the half came to a close at 88-9.
Whilst the teams went off and talked tactics, we were treated to some tunes from Earl Grey and The Tea Ladies (certainly the only trumpet, trombone, accordion and cello combo I know!), then when the teams came back out, we had a presentation to Ana Ki, who had suffered a severely broken leg at our last bout in January. The knee pad that she thought she’d lost that day had been saved, painted pink, and everyone involved in the day signed it for her. The crowd gave Ana an amazing ovation, and then we were into the second half…
The second half started much like the first, with Sky Rockit scoring big and shutting out the Irn Bruisers’ jammer, this time Trophy Wife. Glasgow then went on a good run, with Kamikaze Kitten, Trophy Wife, Marla Mayhem and Irn Bruisers captain Sister Grimm all scoring well, but unfortunately, it seems Glasgow’s lack of previous bout experience led to them running out of steam that little too soon and it led to London Brawling cementing their lead as the end came closer. Belle DeBrawl’s backwards skating showboating certainly split the crowd in two, but during the very last jam, Bette Noir and Missyle Elliot pulled off a transition whip for the first time in UK Derby on the way to Missyle scoring 10 points and leaving us with a final score of…
LONDON BRAWLING 163 – 31 IRN BRUISERS
All that was left was for the awards- Kitty DeCapitate being named MVP for London, and Sister Grimm getting the same award for Glasgow, whilst Bette Noir and Jaci Dodger were Penalty Queens for their respective teams. Special mention needs to go to Jaci, who it was discovered after the bout ended had suffered a dislocated shoulder in the very first jam, and had continued skating right through despite repeatedly needing to have it popped back in! What a star!
So now, the near as complete as possible thank yous list… the day couldn’t have happened without each and every one of you…
The Penalty Trackers - Grimm Rita, Spooky Von Strange, Dolly Spartan and Scar Crash
The Penalty Box Mistresses- Evil Nixx and Nuke-Leah
The Scorebunnies (Or most photographed girls in the hall)- Dot Slash and Grievous Bodily Charm
The Jam Timer- Corbin Cojones (all the way from Houston Roller Derby in the USA!)
The Statkeeper- Statisfier Lee
Track Technicians- Hannah, JP, Mike and a special mention to Ian Mussell who not only flew in from DUBAI! for the bout but also went out to get special tape for the track to avoid any repeats of our January mishap!
The Line Up Managers- Cremola De’Ville of Glasgow and Vix Viking and Rose Hypnol of London
The alcohol supplier- Paul from the Prince of Wales, Blackhorse Rd, Walthamstow
Our resident DJ, DJ Dead
Sound Technician Dave who averted a major microphone incident 10 minutes before the bout began!
The Band- Earl Grey and the Tea Ladies
The Cup Cake suppliers- The Great Cake Escape (Fondant Fancy and Cherry Bakewell)
The Raffle Organisers- Evil Nixx, Debbie Does Malice and Auntie Terror
The Referees- Ringmaster, Ragged Reaper, Refzilla, Cain Unstable, Head Ref Splint Eastwood and Backseat Ref Ballistic Whistle
My fabulous co- announcer- Talita Twoshoes
The Merch sellers- Poison Arrow, Mama Mash Bash, Lola Vulkano, Dolly Spartan, Bonnie Boiler and Raw Heidi, and the lady from Glasgow whose name no-one knows… get in touch!
The bout production crew, Silky Briefs, Grace of Wrath and Dr Feral, who kept the whole shebang together.
The Crowd- WOW! Another sell out and noisier and noisier each time we play! We love every one of you! Special thanks to all the other UK leagues who came to watch the bout!
And of course…
The London Rollergirls- You girls rock!
And
The Glasgow Rollergirls- Thank you so much for coming down and skating like your lives depended on it for an hour! You were awesome first Inter League opponents and we hope to one day come up and bout you on your turf! And also Helen Fury and Violet Attack of the Birmingham Blitz Derby Dames, Trophy Wife and Daisy Pain of Central City Rollergirls, and our own Kamikaze Kitten who all guest skated with Glasgow.
If there’s anyone I’ve forgotten, my sincerest apologies!
Keep an eye on www.londonrollergirls.com for details of the next one!
BigCatMerv- London Rollergirls Announcer.
First photo by Meriska, second by Al Overdrive, third by Roman Skyva. Thanks!
