Name: Bambi Manslaughter
Number: .22
Position You Play: Whatever
Injuries: Fucked up kneecap ligaments
Distinguishing Feature(s): Figure of a chimney sweep, mouth of a fishwife
Theme Song: Grange Hill theme song (the ’80s one of course)
Height: Amazonian
Blood Type: Tasty
Age: I was born in ‘83 - work that out Einstein
Birthday: Bastille Day
Sign: Serious as
Sexual Preference: Schoolboys
Status: Confirmed spinster
Hometown: South London
Occupation: Assistant to a showbiz agent
Loves: Jeremy Bamber, Vietnam war films, gold, bruises, hardline feminism, Joy Division, the Rotters’ Club, Donna R, WWII, swearing in French, getting hit by N Emma Sis, Stephen Fry, Harry Potter fan fiction, the Birmingham accent, Cavalier King Charles spaniels, Asperger’s Syndrome
Despises: mushy peas, the 1990s, brown, men in general, the monarchy, people who aren’t polite
Awards and Good Behaviour: None (yet…)
Penalties, Feuds, and General Bad Behaviour: Foul-tastic jammer
Favourite Food or Drink: Bloody Marys, king prawns & caramel
Favourite Quote: “What is moral is what you feel good after’
Favourite Movie: A Hard Day’s Night and Detroit Rock City
Favourite Songs: ‘Space Truckin’ by Deep Purple, ‘Cold Sweat’ by Thin Lizzy, ‘Shout It Out Loud’ by Kiss, ‘Valley Girl’ by Frank & Moon Unit Zappa, ‘Sexy! No, No, No’ by Girls Aloud
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Joan Whybray
Brogan! Its me, Joan. I missed our Harry Potter chat after book 7 came out. Fancy a chinwag at some point? Would love to hear how you’re going. Loved the photo in Time Out by the way! Um…hope you’re good.
I’m sorry we lost touch. Let me know if you’d like to catch up. Number is 07919335945.
j