Those of you that have followed the London Rollergirls over the last year may have enjoyed a Swindle, some Retribution, or a Riot. Team Black had beaten Team Pink. Team Pink had got revenge on Team Black. Our all star travel team London Brawling had a successful first bout against our friends from the north, the Glasgow Rollergirls. This time, our opponents sailed across the sea from Canada, aboard the good ship Roller Derby. So we snuck aboard, and caused a Mutiny!
Mutiny On The Mountie was always going to be the toughest challenge so far for the members of London Brawling. 16 skaters, of which 14 would be skating on the day, representing 5 leagues from across Canada, many of whom had much more bouting experience than us. And when we set eyes on them, we knew even more this wouldn’t be easy. These girls were tough.

Now with every bout, the setting up seems to get that bit slicker, that bit more organised, and that bit more professional. Dare I even say it, that the atmosphere amongst those in the hall responsible for making sure everyone and everything was in it’s place was even quite calm? Hell, even practicing the introductions went smoothly, as both the teams and the list on the sheet were actually in alphabetical order for the first time ever!
So with the exception of the Victoria Line being out again (and now thanks to Boris Johnson we couldn’t even have a drink on the bus to calm our nerves!) everything went smoothly, another sold out crowd slowly filled the hall, and the girls hit the track for the biggest test yet..
As usual, Sky Rockit lined up first for London, and gave them an early advantage, scoring 9 points to the 2 scored by Canada’s X-Treme Joy. London managed to increase their lead during each of the first 7 jams; Sky, Missyle Elliot, Kitty DeCapitate and Poison Arrow (making her London Brawling debut) all picking up at least 4 points. In the 8th Jam Saskatoon Roller Derby’s Mirage gained Lead Jammer, and picked up four points to Kitty DeCapitate’s 3. However, it was to be the only Jam that Team Canada won in the first 20 minute period, and London were up at the break by 53-9.

It was certain though that the score wasn’t reflecting the action on the track. It was getting clearer all the while that this was the hardest hitting Derby that London had ever seen. Our amazing fans were getting to meet the girls up close, as tough blocks were sending members of both teams into the crowd as far as the third row. London’s superior team work in the first period had been the big difference, but of course, Canada had only met together as a team for the first time 3 days previously, so they still needed to gel. Each Canadian was certainly making an impression with their individual performance, with Dolly Destructo of Toronto in particular making herself noticed.
In the second period London Brawling came out of the blocks running once more, with Drolma and Sky Rockit expanding their lead in the first two jams. In the 3rd jam, it was Mirage who once again got the better of the LRG, picking up 4 whilst LRG Co-Captain Belle DeBrawl scored 3. Shift Kicker also picked up points for Team Canada in two jams, but didn’t get the better of Sky on either occasion. Team Canada won the 6th jam of the period when the pack completely shut out Kitty DeCapitate and Mirage scored 2. Canada’s Coach Lime from Oil City was starting to make some excellent tactical observations and decisions, and his team started scoring more, whilst LRG scored less. At the end of the 2nd period London had managed to increase their lead, but had looked less dominant than in the first 20 minutes. The period ended 93-23.
Team Canada faced the last period a skater down, as Cree Assaults injured her elbow, seemingly suffering several bruises on one spot, until the area swelled to the size of a tennis ball. She was seen to by paramedics and was advised that her part in the evening was over.
Once again, London scored big in the first two jams of the third period, their pack successfully shutting out Toronto’s G-Force and Saskatoon’s Mirage. X-treme Joy again made inroads for Canada in the 3rd jam, picking up 5 whilst her team’s blockers successfully closed out Missyle Elliott. But what came next sealed Team Canada’s fate. Sky Rockit made her way through the pack, but fouled and did not gain lead jammer status. G-Force was unable to deal with the might of the LRG blockers and whilst she battled to make her way through the pack, Sky had no option but to keep skating. Showing no signs of tiring, she kept going full pelt for the full two minutes picking up a triple grand slam, passing every member of Team Canada, including the jammer 3 times. She was on the way to a fourth, passing 3 more Canadians before the four short whistle blows signalled the end of the jam. Sky had scored 18 points in one jam, a new London Rollergirls record. The crowd went ballistic, whistling and cheering.
Some teams may have been demoralised by that, but Team Canada certainly weren’t and went on to play their best roller derby of the night, allowing London to score only 8 more points in the remaining 9 jams. Mirage once again closed the gap by two, and Hoochie Mama picked up 7 points in a great jam for Canada in which their blockers completely contained every member of the LRG close to the inside of the track and allowed Hoochie to pass around the outside unchallenged. The rest of the 3rd period passed without major incident. By this point Canada had begun working well as a unit, and Coach Lime’s new tactic of waiting to see who LRG put out before seemingly putting out a line up on the fly to suit was certainly effective.
The hard hitting continued right until the final whistle of head referee Splint Eastwood, and the final result was declared as…
LONDON BRAWLING 128-45 TEAM CANADA
The post bout awards concluded the evening, where LRG captain Bette Noir picked up her second Penalty Queen award in as many bouts (Tut tut!) and Trailer Trish picking up the respective award for Team Canada. MVP for London was N-emma-si5 for her outstanding blocking display, whilst Canada’s award went to Mirage, for an impressive jamming display. The crowd’s Rollergirl of the match award went to Sky Rockit, who won over the assembled throng with her 18 point jam! And there was one final, unexpected award, when Bette Noir’s boyfriend, Tom, asked for the floor. He got down on one knee, and asked for the London Brawling Captain’s hand in marriage! Bette said yes, as the crowd erupted once more, and everyone felt like extras in an American sports movie! Even big manly announcers cried!
Make sure you check www.londonrollergirls.com for updates on our next bout, Summer Shovin’!, again at the Tottenham Green Leisure Centre on July 19th!
We would like to extend our thanks to Team Canada for coming all this way to bout us and giving us the toughest game we have faced to date. We certainly hope that we can someday come to Canada and face your leagues on your home grounds. Thanks to Saskatoon Roller Derby, Calgary Roller Derby Association, Toronto Roller Derby, Terminal City Rollergirls and Oil City Rollergirls for letting your girls come bout us. They were all awesome! And of course, thanks as well to the Team Canada referees, Coach Lime, and Mack the Mouth, official Team Canada announcer for making the trip.
Thanks to Silky Briefs, Lola Vulkano and Grace of Wrath for your fantastic event managing skills and all the LRG members who helped out in various supporting roles. The event would not have been so smooth with any one of you missing! You are all stars!
Finally, a massive thank you to everyone who came out to support us! We’ll see you July 19th for Summer Shovin’!
BigCatMerv- London Rollergirls Announcer.
Poison's Mum
I uploaded a video to YouTube of team introductions….hope you enjoy!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gqL0gvuJExQ